NBA: Race for the 8 seed

"Put some respect on my name." These were Dame's words last night in the bubble after dropping 61 points in a win versus the Mavs. With 61 last night and 51 the night before, Damian Lillard joins a short list of NBA stars who have scored 112 or more points in a 2 game window. (Jordan, Harden, & Kobe are the others.) After moving to 9th on the list of most 50 point individual performances, Lillard and the Blazers also moved up to 8th in the western conference standings surpassing the Grizzlies and moving a half game ahead of them and the Suns. 

When the Grizzlies entered the bubble, the eight seed was theirs to lose. Despite the Grizzlies temporary lead in the standings, the talk around the NBA was about the excitement of seeing Zion in the playoffs, Dame time vs. King James, or Coach Popp's Spurs playing as the eighth seed. (The Spurs were a stretch, I just like DeMar DeRozan.) Surprisingly, there was no buzz around the clear cut ROTY, Ja Morant, taking on LeBron's Lakers in the first round. We'll see if being counted out creates extra motivation for Memphis as they play their final regular season bubble game against the Bucks tomorrow in an obvious must-win match up.

As for being counted out, the Phoenix Suns have been the afterthought of the NBA for this entire decade. Yet, here are they are sitting at 7-0 since the NBA restart on July 31st. The eighth seed is still such a long shot for Phoenix, but they have put themselves in a position to attain it. Whether they make the playoffs or not, what the Suns are doing is important for their future and Devin Booker's NBA career path*. 

*I agree with Dray, free D-Book!!!!

**Except I want him in Minnesota playing with KAT and D-Lo 

***Minnesota is arguably as bad/ worse than Phoenix historically 

https://t.co/laqxDLrXpD

Who do we want to see in the 8th seed for the Western Conference?

— Average at Best (@_AverageBest) August 12, 2020

Cubs Update (8/10): This Team Is Good

 Goooooood morning,

The Chicago Cubs are good at baseball. After disappointing ends to the previous two seasons of Cubs baseball, that resulted in losing a game 163 at home for the division title then losing the wild card game at home in 2018 and then the team all together missing the postseason last year and somehow winning 2 less games than Mickey Calloway's Mets. The team elected to move on from future Hall of Fame manager Joe Maddon and brought in a man that will melt the heart of every single mom in the north suburban Chicagoland Area. That brings this bad boy to the first part of this recap... the good.

THE GOOD

The Culture: Not to go total dumb meatball fan, but it does feel like the culture around this team has changed. In this very fucked up COVID year where these teams are playing in front of no people, this Cubs team shows up every day like that travel team that annoys you to no end but comes out like they're all on steroids and mercy rules you 22-0 in 5 innings and before you can even get you're second AB in you're on your way home with a Reese's Cup Blizzard dripping on your jersey. David Ross is the largest reason for this shift in culture; but the buy in from the player, especially the captain Anthony Rizzo, has to be recognized. These guys have talked a lot about their disappointments the past couple of years and so far they're playing like they meant that.

The Starting Rotation: These guys are pitching their their absolute dicks off. The tone was set opening day when the most underrated pitcher in the league came out and dragged his 88 mph throwing nuts all over the Milwaukee Brewers with a complete game, 3 hit shutout. Yu Darvish struggled a bit in his first start but since then has looked like the guy we saw in the 2nd half of last year. Jon Lester has been Jon Lester, no surprises. Now for the 2 very pleasant surprises, Tyler Chatwood and Alec Mills. Mills has been awesome. He's similar to Hendricks in that he does not throw with a ton of velocity and mixes in a big slow curveball and a disgusting change to compliment his 90 mph fastball. He looks like he could be your Family's accountant but then comes out and goes 6 scoreless before he heads home for his strict 10 pm bedtime to be up to balance the books by 8:00 am. As for Chatwood, he's pitching like a guy who's fighting for an opportunity to be a big league pitcher again after this season. He has been bad as a Cubs' starter in his time here, and was okay as a relief pitcher this year. But this year he looks like a new pitcher. The biggest reason for this change is his command. Tyler Chatwood has always had the 2nd best "stuff" on the pitching staff, bullpens included. The ball jumps from his hand and bounces all over the place. This year his BB% is down tremendously and his K% is up a ton as well. Even with him getting his tits blown off in Kansas City the last time out, his xFIP is still down at 2.40 which is good enough for 10th in all of baseball. He probably cannot keep up this pace but they are encouraging signs nonetheless.

The Offense: Long story short, these guys showed up this year. Circling back to David Ross again, one stark difference we've seen from Joe Maddon to him is lineup consistency. David Ross has had the same 1-5 of Bryant, Rizzo, Baez, Schwarber, and Contreras. The most lineup flopping he does in the 1 through 5 is flipping Willson and Schwarber. Rossy is making sure his 5 best hitters will get the most PAs on the team, no more of Albert Almora as the Lead-Off hitter. This team ranks top 10 in just about every major offensive category and thats probably where they should be and settle in for the duration of this year.

Ian Happ: He's been so awesome he deserves his own category. He has been the best offensive player on the Cubs this year. After being optioned to AAA last year to begin the year, he came up towards the end of July and played like his hair was on fire. He was one of the best offensive players down the stretch for the Cubs and that has continued this year. He is the Center Fielder and the fact I will rarely ever have to see Albert Almora starting again makes me happy.

THE BAD

Albert Almora: He stinks. The fact Nico Hoerner got a recent start in center over him vs.  a lefty should speak volumes about what David Ross thinks of him at this moment in time.

THE UGLY

The Bullpen: Ohhhhhh boy are they fucking bad some would say, ugly. They are up there with the worst bullpen ERAs in the game. It's a bullpen made up of a very expensive closer who is just been straight up terrible, and then a bunch of random guys that you've never heard of. Rowan Wick has been good after a strong year last year and Jeremy Jeffress has been a pleasant surprise (although his diminished velocity could give cause for concern further down the road). Other than that, it's a bullpen made up of old average veterans that have been as average as ever for forever, and a bunch of young guys that can't seem to figure it out (looking at you Dillon Maples). It's bad. The COVID year also makes it hard to want to deal for big time arm because the season could literally be closed down any day, it's just going to be extremely difficult find value at the trade deadline. Maybe you can grab a rental vet for cash or perhaps make a move for a controllable arm. It's a hard spot but what we know is this group of guys currently just is not getting it done. Despite this, they're still 10-3.

There it is, my (not so) in-depth look at the Chicago Cubs so far in 2020. The Cleveland Indians are on deck Tuesday in what will be the Cubs first game since Thursday since that dumb organization in St. Louis can't get a handle on protocols to make a year happen. Hopefully Zach Plesac got sent home in enough time to not spread COVID around before the Cubs get there.

Six Years Ago Today Anthony Rizzo Officially Ended the Cubs Rebuild

People will look back through the Cubs rebuild at moves like trading for Jake Arrieta, Pedro Strop, Miggy Montero, signing Jon Lester, etc. But one moment that does not get talked about enough as a turning point for this era of Cubs baseball is this right here.

6 Years ago today, Anthony Rizzo became the Captain of the Chicago Cubs. #ObviousShirts @ARizzo44 @cubs pic.twitter.com/DAXyigxC57

— OBVIOUS SHIRTS® (@obvious_shirts) July 10, 2020

Anthony Rizzo decided six years ago today that the Cubs were #DONE rebuilding and he was the captain of this squad. He decided the days of being the NL Centrals punching bag were done. Get a look at the full exchange below. 

For those of you with too short of attention span for a 4 minute and 24 second long video I'll summarize shortly. Aroldis Chapman, notable scumbag and hard thrower of baseballs, sails a fastball right around the noggin of Cubs rebuild legend Nate Schierholtz. Look that's not a huge deal, shit happens in the game, but the problem is the very next pitch he did the same thing again. Again, shit happens in the game, but fuck me thats 100+ flying right at your lid; literally fast enough to kill a man. The Cubs dugout was rightfully on edge and upset after the second pitch up and Chapman made sure he let them know when he eventually K'ed Schierholtz later in the AB. Anthony Rizzo, the captain, took exception to that when the Cubs went back out to play defense and a good old fashioned brouhaha ensued.

The Cubs lost a lot of baseball games from 2010 through 2014, 464 to be exact compared to only 346 wins, it was ugly. But on this date in 2014, Anthony Rizzo said were done being pussies and were turning this thing around. Up until that point in 2014 the Cubs were 38-52 and in last place in the division (again), but from that point on the Cubs finished the 2014 campaign 35-37, with a team that started Junior Lake every day. This was the Declaration of We Don't Wanna Suck Anymore. Then in 2015 it's been full steam ahead ever since. All thanks to my captain on this very important and under appreciated day in Cubs history.

6/29 POLL OF THE DAY

I know I went MIA this weekend but it was a busy weekend full of light beers and mixed cocktails and not much writing or poll creating. Oh well you'll live (@ Logan), It's Monday, start of a short work week, and were all counting down to America's birthday this weekend to do it all over again. That being said there were hangovers this weekend and there will be more to follow in the next. It is important to get ahead of the hangover so it does not ravage your Sunday or worst case scenario, turn into the treaded two day hanger. There are plenty of remedies that help curb those bad boys and knock them clean out of your system and we're going to vote on your favorite today.

What is the best hangover remedy?

32 OZ.  GATORADE / POWERADE - This is not about a sports drink debate so pick your poison. After a night of filling you body with liquids that deplete your electrolytes you it is important to replenish those with cool and refreshing sports drink. Save the flavor debate for another, this ones all about replenishing the soul.

BIG GREASY MEAL - Again, not here to debate if it's a Big Mac or a Whopper or if you're really going to indulge and buy a Five Guys and Fries. This is about doing anything to alleviate the fact that bright light makes you blind and get rid of the tremble in your knees. Gotta be careful with this one so it does not turn into a poop emergency because it can and will in a hurry.

WATER - An option that would make Bobby Boucher happy. Just unloading a gallon of water right to the troat and slugging it down faster than the white girls slug seltzer's at the beach on an 85 degree summer day. Can't drink it too fast or it will come right back out, baby sips only.

DRINKING MORE - They say the best detox is a re-tox. Heading to brunch and ordering unlimited Mimosa's or Bloody's to get ahead of the serious part of the hangover might be your best bet. Just make sure you get that post brunch nap in in order to truly beat the worst part and sleep it off. 

There we have it, let's come together as a society to truly determine the best remedy so we may continue to party on. VOTE BELOW

they're baaaaaaaack. poll of the day after taking the weekend off

what is the best hangover remedy?https://t.co/wEXfjUzD10

— jik b (@_bigbritt) June 29, 2020

Shoutout To Bears Fans For Gaining Self Awareness:

I was scrolling through Twitter after a long day of golf with my old man, and I came across this on twitter: https://twitter.com/BigBearsGuy/status/1277001993496809472

As a Diehard Lions fan, I have to admit I was quite triggered. While many will wonder if it's low hanging fruit, it made me realize that Bears fans have accepted their place in the cellar of the division with us. While many people might point out that the Bears have only gone 3-9 against Matthew Stafford since 2013, and that the Lions have more playoff appearances in the last decade than the Bears, I would never besmirch a fallen rival like that. 

Imagine how hard it is already to be a Bears fan, and coming to the realization that that they have the same amount of doinks on Cody Parkey's game winning field goal attempt against the Eagles as wins against a healthy Aaron Rodgers since the 2010 NFC Championship Game. (Two doinks to Two wins).

I would never make fun of the Bears for trying to assert dominance over the long running cellar dweller of the division, as that would be rude of me. I would never make fun of the Bears for drafting Mitchell Trubisky second overall over NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson, as that would also be very rude and ugly to do. 

Instead, I welcome the Bears for coming to the realization that you can only hang your hat on only winning one Super Bowl with Walter Payton and the greatest defense of all time for so long, before people realize that you're essentially the Tampa Bay Buccaneers with better uniforms and worse quarterback play.  Welcome to the cellar fellas, and thank you for finally coming to the realization that you'll never be held in the same regards as Green Bay and joining us in a cockfight at the bottom. When you're a moribund franchise like the Bears, you need to take every close victory you can over elite QBs like Jeff Driskel and David Blough. 

So don't mind me, I'm just the triggered Lions fan that's actually seen his team beat an Aaron Rodgers led Green Bay multiple times in the same season, something that literally no Bears fan has ever been able to say. But to our new rivals, while the division may be out of reach for us, we can still root against good franchises like the Green Bay Packers. 

"Player Health Matters, But So Do Dollars" - Adam Silver

In wake of recent COVID-19 surges across the country, specifically in Florida where the NBA restart is scheduled to occur, Adam Silver held a conference call to discuss the leagues return to play policy and if there were any growing concerns regarding the restart. Unfortunately, I was not able to get on the call, as I am not credentialed and this blog is not big enough for the NBA (or anyone) to recognize it's existence. Fortunately, for someone like myself, I am very well connected in the media and have lots of friends that were able to get me looped into the call through some back channeling and secret deals. Once the call was concluded I was able to use my boyish charm and sweet good looks to get Mr. Silver to stay on the line for a 1 on 1 interview with me. I said it was off the record but here I am recording it; good thing I didn't have credentials anyways.

"Mr. Silver thanks for joining me today, I just wanted to start off by asking straight up, is there a real risk that the season may have to be canceled?" - Jake

"Please Heywood (I was going by my alias, Heywood Jablome) call me Adam. While we have seen a large uptick in cases of COVID-19 in Florida, we are still planning to move forward with our July 30th start date. We feel we have strong safety measures to make the restart as safe as possible for the players and personnel involved." - AS

I then went on to ask what exact measures the league was going to take, just outside of the players being locked in a bubble away from human civilizations for potentially up to 3 months. 

"Thanks Heywood, what a great and well thought out question. To start we will be testing every other day and conducting anti-body tests every 2 weeks. In addition to this, if a player was to test positive they will need to quarantine for 14 days and will not be cleared to play again until they test negative twice. This will work out great because these guys definitely ARE NOT confined to a bubble and showering together daily. Finally, we will mandating that each player and member of team personnel wear a "smart ring". This ring will be able to detect temperature, sleeping pattern, breathing rate, etc. We hope that these will help up recognize players that may be at risk to testing positive up to three days in advance. They were definitely not recommended by Daryl Morey to track if James Harden is going to the strip club. The last thing we want to do is track and control our players whereabouts and behavior. *wink*" - AS

Trevor Ariza, Avery Bradley, and Davis Bertans have come out and said recently that they will not be joining their teams in the bubble; and we assume more players will be following their lead soon. I asked Adam if there is a concern about more players deciding not to play.

"No there really isn't. I truly feel that players will be deterred from not playing due to fear of getting chastised by Kendrick Perkins on 'Get Up'. Silver would go on to say, "Look, I understand players not wanting to play but if they don't LeBron told me that they 100% would not be invited on the banana boat ever in their lives. That is a valid enough threat to bring the good players back to the floor in my opinion."

It was at this point Adam told me he soon would have to hop off to wax his head for an appearance on ESPN, but he had time for one more question. I asked what he would tell the critics that felt that the season was being rushed or forced in a time where the current pandemic does not seem to be under control.

"I would tell them that obviously the players health matters, but so do the dollars in everyones pockets. I don't mean the millions it would make the owners and the league and our TV networks; but also the players. So while it may seem forced to get the league back on the floor, at the end of the day we are just trying to get as much out of this season, not only in terms of finances, but also to crown a champion and complete the season as legitimately as possible ... but also make more money."

It will be interesting to see how the league responds to the uptick in cases, there is still a month to tell but I know Adam Silver (and the bank accounts) seem excited to get the ball rolling.

6/26 POLL OF THE DAY

a poll inspired by the great bagel vs. croissant battle of 2020 from @TylerIAm yesterday.

what is the most elite breakfast bread?https://t.co/jTg6OqyebE

— jike b (@_bigbritt) June 25, 2020

Not as close of a battle as I thought with bagel being the runaway favorite. I think biscuits got so disrespected that it's not even funny. Biscuits are elite and need more RESPEK. 

Moving on to today, it's a shitty, gross, and rainy day out today. I've spent the last few days outside and enjoying the sun but it's always nice to sprinkle in a summer rainy day to mentally and physically recover. Rainy days are great for a lot of reason's and you're going to vote on those today. 

What is the best rainy day activity?

NETFLIX AND CHILL - No not that kind of chill you sick fucks. I mean literally getting yourself wrapped in a blanket and sitting in your cool basement and binging your favorite show for 13 straight hours.

COOK A NICE MEAL - Take the time that you would be spending outside and exploring to make a nice meal and try to make it not taste like absolute shit. That way you can eat a good meal AND wallow in your sorrows.

SLEEP ALL DAY - Just taking a big fat 6 hour nap. Never turning a light on and just slumping all day. Bonus points if it's a Sunday and the Sunday Scarie's are what wakes you up. Then having the scaries haunt you so bad you can't sleep until 2 am before work.

VIDEO GAMES / BOARD GAMES - Games are a fun and entertaining way to get the competitive juices out. I lumped video and board together because they're both games and serve the same purpose; whoop the competitions ass.

Get your votes in and let your voice be heard!

u know what time it is

what is the best rainy day activity?https://t.co/BvT2kOBZ6W

— jike b (@_bigbritt) June 26, 2020

5 Rule Changes that can Bring the Fans Back to MLB

It's been known for a few days that baseball finally returning after a long and painstaking negotiation process that would make the Michael Scott Paper Company proud. With players set to return to camp July 1st and games set to resume in late July, baseball is moving quickly to a restart. I was about -3 years old in 1994 when the players went on strike so I don't truly understand the magnitude of what happened then; but what I do know is baseball lost a shit ton of fans and were really reeling until Sammy Sosa saved baseball. It looked as if baseball staring down the same barrel of the same gun again in terms of losing fans, and it appears they still may have lost some in this utterly ridiculous negotiation process, that's where I come in. 

Mr. Manfred I'm here to help out this great game we all love so much, I have five proposed rule changes that could bring the old fans back and grow the game to levels we haven't seen since sac bunting was cool.

1. Three words, trampoline pitchers mound. None of this little bump in the middle of the diamond shit anymore. Pitchers now get to wear gym shoes and run out to the bump to pitch from the trampoline. Imagine all the cool flips and shit we would get to see pitcher do to get the ball out. Upside down curveballs, rising splitters, I mean come on who wouldn't want to see that?

2. Aluminum bats; and I'm not talking the BBCOR shit they have now either. We're busting out the old DeMarini Voodoo drop 7's. If they pitchers get the advantage of being able to do flips and throw backwards curveballs, hitters get to hit the ball a country mile if they get a hold of one. There won't be the risk of hurting fans since they won't be allowed at the games anyways. It'd be even better with cardboard cutouts. Imagine Pete Alonso ripping a ball foul and just demolishing a cardboard cutout down the left field line, how fun is that? More cool pitches and 700 ft. dingers is a strong start to bringing this sport back from the dead.

3. What do Americans love more than big macs and freedom? Violence, that's why I'll be implementing kick ball style outs. Think you'll have a better shot getting the baserunner out by drilling him with the ball rather than the old fashioned way, whip that thing right at him, below the noggin of course. This could also become a strong outlet for anger as it allows position players a chance to unload on the opponent, with benches clearing brawls strictly prohibited due to social distancing measures, this could be the best way to unload some pent up testosterone.

4. Allow steroid. Please. Please just let these guys get all pumped up with the good stuff. Steroids + Aluminum bats = DONG SHOW. That's why people pay the money to get in. Gate price is solely based on dingers. We don't pay to see singles, We pay for the yabos. The steroid era saved baseball once before, it's looking more and more like we're gonna need the steroid era 2.0 to bring it all back again.

5. Everyone thinks they can get the job done better than literal professional athletes, lets give them an opportunity to show it. The final rule change will allow for fans can enter a raffle to have the opportunity to play in a real life MLB game. Once every 5 games a fan has to come in and pitch (off the trampoline) to at least 3 batters, of course to adhere to the newly implemented 3 batter minimum rule. The opposing team will have to have a fan then take an at bat and play an inning of defense every 5 games as well. Not only does this allow for fans to have a once in a lifetime opportunity to get embarrassed by professional athletes on a live stage, it will allow for the managers to bring some strategy back to the game. Managers will have to think about when to trot out 5'6 290 pound JimBob from facebook to get in his 3 batters of work. Get this one rolling Manfred.

Hey Rob, if you see this, I'll accept direct deposit.