Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Thom Brennaman Got Stuck In The Trash

   


Well Thom Brennaman stepped in the poopy today. The Reds announcer was caught calling an undisclosed city the "Fag Capital Of The World", and folks, it's not good. Thom Brennaman, the Cincinnati Reds, and Major League Baseball should listen to me when we talk exit strategies. The damage is done, but how do we mitigate it? Here's how

Plan 1: Richmond, Virginia is considered the tobacco capital of the world. At one point 25% of the cigarettes in circulation were based out of Richmond. The British love to call their cigarettes Fags. Thom's dad Marty is from Portsmouth, Virginia, which if my knowledge of Virginia is correct, is in the same state as Richmond and probably pretty close. So now we have Thom pivot to telling a story about his dad in Richmond, which could be considered the Fag Capital of the world if you're talking about cigarettes. This might be the actual case, there's really no way to know. 

Plan B: I'm an expert on mitigating bad situations, because I'm not afraid to resort to Plan B. Much like a 19 year girl with a bright future and a 3 week delayed period, Thom wants to get rid of this bad situation as quickly as possible. Enter: Conspiracy Theory. Thom and the Reds start circulating rumors that this is a deep fake hoax being perpetrated by the Houston Astros, because the Astros actually hate gay people. This shifting of the blame to an organization with a target on its back is fool proof. You tell people the Astros hacked your top secret databases and planted a deep fake bug sounding exactly like Thom Brennaman on the broadcast, but it wasn't actually Thom that said it. By the time the tech nerds figure out its a lie, everyone will become preoccupied with the next really bad thing that happens. Pushing the blame down the line, and wait for another franchise to blatantly break COVID protocol, Trump to start WW3, or another college football coach says the N Word. Just wait it out baby,

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