If you weren’t on Team Edward back in 2010, now is the time.
We don't just write about sports here loser, so if you'd like to expand your cultural knowledge of meaningless superhero movies and comic books, stick around for this one. Yesterday at DC Fandome (a virtual convention for all things
DC Comics & Entertainment), we were hit with the first real look at Robert
Pattinson as the titular character and holy fucking shit Batman, it looks absolutely
amazing. From costume design, character choices, and the overall tone of the
film, this is going to be as real as it gets for the Caped Crusader, and I for
one am so ready for Emo-Batman (IT’S NOT A PHASE MOM!). Here am I going to go on
a bit of a deep-dive into why this has the potential to not only be the best
batman film we’ve ever seen, but how this film will finally break Robert
Pattinson’s curse of always being remembered as the sparkling-vampire-boy from the
Twilight Saga.
Firstly, let’s address Pattinson’s track record as an actor.
YES, he was mostly awkward and terrible as Edward Cullen. YES, those movies
were mostly targeted at 15-year-old teenage girls who were looking to
experience their first orgasm in the back of a movie theater. But those days
are long gone, and since then he has turned into an extremely well-rounded
actor, capable of transforming into whatever role is presented to him. His most
recent example of this is The Lighthouse (2019). Look it up, it’s fantastic. And
with all that being said, the fit for him as Bruce Wayne is a better casting
than you might think. His biggest strength was always being a doom-and-gloom
downer, and what better actor to portray a comic book accurate Dark Knight than
Edward Cul – I mean Robert Pattinson? This man might fuck around and give us
the coolest, meanest, and most authentic bat we’ve ever seen on the big screen.
You didn’t read comics like a dweeb in high school? I don’t
blame you. But I did, and on occasion I still dabble in graphic novels to this
day. What you really need to know about this film is the source material it is
pulling from: The Long Halloween. When I tell you this is one of the most influential
comic books of all-time, I am not blowing smoke up your ass. And let’s face it,
you are too cool and aren’t going to take the time to read it anyway so you’ll just
have to take my word for it; It’s really fricking good. The story focus’ on a
different strength of Batman, and arguably his greatest asset; his brain. In
the comics, one of the Bat’s many calling cards is being the “World’s Greatest
Detective,” a trait often overlooked in films and comics alike. This movie is
not going to be a mindless DCEU (DC Extended Universe) Film, with bland acting
and action filled with CGI at every god damn turn. No, this movie is going to
be a crime film, a thriller, with the Riddler taking center stage. The premise
of The Long Halloween is simple; The Riddler starts wreaking havoc in Gotham,
dropping hints (riddles, if you will) to his plots in expert fashion. He is always a few steps ahead of the Bat, and the Dark Knight begins an epic
crime investigation, paying visits to many of his arch-rivals to solve the “Enigma”
(IYKYK). The Long Halloween is one of the darkest stories in Batman history,
delivering a young batman with roughly a year of experience. He doesn’t have a multitude
of fancy gadgets, sporting normal black combat boots and a leather mask, which
can be seen in the trailer. He isn’t fighting aliens; he isn’t performing outrageous
stunts. Bruce Wayne is human, and that will never be more true in this upcoming
film. It’s also important to note that this isn’t an origin story. We are going
to be thrust into the beginnings of BATMAN, not the beginnings of Bruce Wayne (thank
god). Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy was given such high praise
because of its realism, and dark tone in nature; The Long Halloween is darker.
Based on the trailer alone, the film seems to have captured the essence of the
comic book, and that is a VERY good sign. Mix in Andy Serkis playing Alfred
Pennyworth, Jeffrey Wright playing Commissioner Gordon, Collin Farrell as the
Penguin, and Zoe Kravitz as Catwoman, and you have terrific, gritty actors
everywhere, and I love it; you should too.
The Batman is still far from release (THANKS covid), coming
out in October of 2021; yet another reference to the source material. To wrap
this up, I won’t bother you with all the easter eggs littering the trailer, but
my god there is one that has my excitement through the roof. At the 1:40 minute
mark, Patterson’s Batman absolutely beats the dog shit out of a thug for simply
asking him his name (LOL). He then proceeds to begin to say one of the more
famous comic book lines from Batman history: I am VENGEANCE.
To quote the Long Halloween, it goes as follows.
I am Vengeance. I am the Night. I am… Batman.
Get fucking hyped folks, this movie is going to be Oscar worthy. I’m calling it now.
[ Trailer Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fxbzD_CSD8 ]
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