I was at Chipotle minutes ago because I was getting hangry and needed a burrito bowl with double pico. You know the mood. Anyways as I'm walking out of the restaurant, in walks combat carl himself decked out in his camo army man gear head to toe like he felt the need to blend in with the urban sprawl of Dubuque, Iowa. Naturally, I thank him for his service and give him a kiss on the boots and then another wet one right on the mouth because this MOTHERFUCKER of a "HERO" didn't have a goddamn mask on. (I didn't thank him lol FOH w all that.)
In Dubuque, Iowa, it is now required to wear a mask (rightfully so) and Chipotle had a very conveniently placed sign on its door reminding its customers of these requirements. Of course the 17 year old making my burrito bowl wasn't gonna stand up to GI-Joe out of the presumable fear of a Chris Kyle level PTSD episode. Frankly, I didn't have time for that either so I kept my mouth shut and left it alone. Here's the part that really got to me though: this boomer pulls up in his truck and walks up to the door as I'm getting in my car. You know what boomer does? Boomer stops, reads the sign, returns to his truck, and masks up. Thank you boomer, you are a true American hero.
Don't pretend to be above us regular degular civilians when you're in your little green costume. If you want to be thanked for your service, start by doing the right thing and try to be a better citizen.
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