Wednesday, August 12, 2020

Is The 2015 High School Quarterback Class The Best Ever?

 1997 was a special year. Charles Woodson beat out Peyton Manning and Randy Moss for the Heisman, Biggie Smalls released Life After Death, Mike Tyson helped himself to a little earlobe mid fight against Evander Holyfield, and James Cameron released Titanic. But speaking of a sinking ship, Jake Paul was also born. But most importantly, determined parents everywhere saw the athletic feats perpetrated by such icons named Brett Favre, Jeff Hostetler, Gus Frerrotte, and Danny Kanell play quarterback at a level that none had ever seen and made a decision: to birth and raise possibly the greatest quarterback class of all time. 

Fast Forward 18 years and right out of the gate we have #1 QB and 5 star Josh Rosen. Rosen was a first round NFL Draft Choice, and it really doesn't matter what happens next because the check cleared. He still got drafted because of his big swinging cojones, and now he's set bouncing around teams as a backup quarterback for the next 7 years. Racking checks, having sex, and being pretty cool too. This is a win.

The second ranked quarterback from that class was Blake Barnett, and before you say who????, let me remind you that this is National Championship Winner, Blake Barnett. 

That's right, the original BB-8 was more like a BB-Great as he won a national championship with Alabama as a true freshman, before transferring to Arizona State and Southern Florida to major in smoking grass and grabbing ass. A true legend got a ring to seal his legacy, and decided to ride off into the sunset chasing Co-Eds at two party schools before taking his talents outside of football. A legend.

The third quarterback? That's right, Kyler Murray. A Heisman Trophy winning quarterback who also was a first round pick in baseball, before becoming the #1 overall selection in the NFL and winning Rookie of the Year in the NFL is one of footballs great young quarterbacks. Not only is he immensely talented, he's also a role model to men everywhere by proving to them that being 5'10 isn't the reason they weren't talented enough to play professional sports. All hail the short man's Jackie Robinson. 

Next we've got Jarrett Stidham. Stidham started his career at Baylor and then in what can only be described as an unavoidable series of sexual assaults perpetrated by the Baylor football team while being covered up by the Baylor coaching staff, Stidham transferred to Auburn. While at Auburn he beat #1 Georgia and #1 Alabama in back to back games before losing in the SEC Championship and the Peach Bowl to end the season. The loss in the Peach Bowl to UCF allowed those chickenshit losers to claim a national title, making Jarrett Stidham responsible for G5 teams thinking they can beat Bama. Good players win, Great players inspire others. Kudos to you Stidham. 

After we skip over Brandon Wimbush, Deondre Francois, Brady White, Jake Browning, and Ricky Town we get to Big Cock Drew Lock. Drew Lock threw for 12,000 yards while being a 2 time All SEC quarterback, and also not being an overwhelming loser for the Denver Broncos after they selected him in the 2nd round of the NFL Draft. He's big, tall, white, and has a cannon for an arm, which is just how John Elway likes it. I'm just glad Elway decided that being good at football was a requisite this time around. 

Sam Darnold was the 12th QB in 2015, before becoming a top 3 pick in the NFL, and since then the returns have been ok. Darnold has been above average for the Jets, but most importantly he had to miss football because he was too busy playing tonsil hockey with chicks to remember not to get mono. He also played a pivotal role in creating one of America's greatest graphic designs: 
What a champ. Sure, he didn't put together the graphic, but people don't think any less of JFK for not filming the Zapruder film. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time.

Next we have a couple more Heisman Trophy winners in Joe Burrow and Lamar Jackson. Especially cool that the Tennessee Volunteers took THREE QB's ranked ahead of Joe Burrow and Lamar Jackson in the same class. The future division rivals are both good at sports and absurdly cool.

Before Gardner Minshew was a starting quarterback in the NFL, he was an overlooked and underrated quarterback committed to Troy. He also wears Jorts and that's pretty cool too. Daniel Jones was also in this class, but I'd like to reserve a little more judgement before I pronounce him as "good". 

So all in all, we have 3 Heisman Trophy Winners, 6 First Round picks, 2 other NFL starting QBs and 4 players that switched positions by the time they got to the NFL. All in all, I think that's pretty good. 

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