ESPN announced their new Monday Night Football broadcasting team, and unfortunately Booger McFarland didn't make the cut. When Booger wasn't advocating spiking the ball on 4th down in the playoffs, he was saying such platitudes like "Khalil Mack isn't athletic enough to beat offensive linemen anymore". Booger was a pretty fun announcer, but he never should have been given that much responsibility. I personally always thought he was just a placeholder for when Peyton Manning became the MNF Guy after Eli retired, but I guess Manning is going to hold off on that a little more. Booger and Tess are OUT. Now in we have:
Steve Levy: Steve Levy's well coifed hair and perfectly tailored suits make him a perfect fit for ESPN's most glamorous position. He's worked his way up the ranks in ESPN, which either means he's incredibly talented, or has been around long enough to know exactly how many dead hookers are buried on ESPN's main campus following insane coke fueled parties by ESPN executives. Either way, Levy knows how to play the game, and I expect a pretty good season from our well dressed Picasso. Grade is a B+
Brian Griese: Former NFL Journeyman Quarterback Brian Griese takes home the coveted analyst gig, and while a lot of people might question Griese's addition to the team, I would like to remind people that this is National Champion Brian Griese, and Super Bowl Champion Brian Griese, and "3-0 Against Ohio State Brian Griese". The former Michigan Quarterback lead his Wolverines to an undefeated championship in 1997, and most importantly, he kept his backup Tom Brady on the bench. I can't wait to have BG regale us with stories on how he used to make Tom Brady clean his cleats or get donuts for the QB room, or have sex with the ugliest groupie. Just normal hazing stuff that people do with their backups. Grade: A+ (Never lost to Ohio State, won title)
Louis Riddick: The Chronicles of Louis Riddick continue with him landing a very coveted post as the third man in the MNF booth. The scrappy safety carved out a career on basically grit, and then became the Eagles director of player personnel before being run out of town by football guru Chip Kelly who led the Eagles to multiple successful seasons of missing the playoffs while Riddick became an on air personality for PCespn (shoutout Clay Travis the GAWD for opening my eyes). Riddick is cool, and I like him and he also never lost to Ohio State in college, so I'll ive him an A+ as well.
All in all, a solid booth, and just what ESPN needs to hold out until they land Peyton Manning or another big name quarterback. Because it's coming.
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