What the fuck is this? Has the internet run out of it's bag of tricks? Are we done already? I feel like twitter is the kid that asks to come to your family Christmas party so your Uncle Jerry dressed as Santa has to put together an old board game and some duplicate baseball cards to give the kid so the kid doesn't feel left out when Santa shows up. We're really scrapping the bottom of the barrel here. It was just 6 or 7 short years ago we were BEGGING twitter for polls to stop shit like this; and here it is again.
Clearly I'm irked by these so I'm starting a movement; I will be posting a twitter poll a day for the foreseeable future to combat this. Yesterday was the worst type of friend. Today's I'm going with the best way to serve a beer; without further ado:
1. CAN - This is the standard 12 oz. can, save that tallboy shit for another poll. The biggest perk of the can is you can pick up a 30 rack so they're great for volume consumption; also great to avoid any breakage, especially important in a crowded setting. A knock is they tend to get warm quick. Extra points for the ability to shotgun.
2. BOTTLE - For the more sophisticated type. Great perk is the chill of the bottle, even better if you have a little frost on the outside. A huge knock is the break-ability, there's no bigger party foul than breaking a glass bottle. The vortex chug is cool but difficult to execute.
3. DRAFT - Biggest perk is it is usually served in 16 oz. (I say usually as to not disrespect the craft beer community). Also important to note the ability to get a pitcher, group of 12 guys at a table? Great, just get 4 pitchers and please the table. Draft loses points because your favorite beer might not be on tap, huge buzzkill. The old fashioned 2 or 3 gulp chug out of the pint glass might be the my alpha way to down a beer as well.
4. RED SOLO CUP - This is like the gritty version of the draft brew. While directly from the keg, it is different because of the setting and means of consumption. This beer is usually drank in a dark room with flashing lights and out of cup that's been passed around the room once or twice. Some medical professionals say you don't hit puberty until you've shared the same cup in flip cup with at least 8 different people at the gathering; you can't make this shit up, facts are facts.
There you have it. The four choices for the day. Thank you for your participation in my very educational study. Vote below!
good morning, it's time for the poll of the day. check out the blog for more details if you wish
— jake britton (@_bigbritt) June 18, 2020
todays vote: what is the best way to serve a beer?https://t.co/J9CBF6m7nI
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